When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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