so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
