Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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