did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
cat food counts as protein by the way
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
