sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
