i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
