4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
