The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
