what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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