I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
