one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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