I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
