Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
