I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
So apparently I’m into choking now
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
