that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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