It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
