Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
