Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
