He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
