I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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