I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
