Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
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