just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
