Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
