Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
