she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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