Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
