adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
