dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
