Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
