When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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