we're blogging at a bar
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
My ass is underappreciated
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
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