it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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