Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
