Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
