hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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