i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
