the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
How external is "for external use only"?
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
