just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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