sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
