He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
