HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
