That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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