I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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