Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
