i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
