i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
