dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I got inside last night via doggy door
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
