How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I am naked and annoyed.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
