he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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